One of the key elements of getting to know our kids may seem obvious, but to many of us it is a difficult task for myriad reasons. This first element involves working to understand and collaborate with our kids in what areas they are gifted. There is a natural propensity in each of us to gravitate toward certain interest areas. I know I can't do a lot of things very well (art, music, drama, science, mathematics, etc.) that other professionals can do quite well. We would be bordering on naivete to proclaim that these areas of expertise can not begin as early as conception. There is too much concurrent evidence that is indicating that children's giftings and skill sets develop at the earliest stages possible.
There is a lot to glean from what the industrial age did to the majority of humanity. There is a lot to forget as well. (I pick on the industrial era, but this has happened throughout history). One of the items that we need to forget is the theory that people can be managed into compliance to do whatever those in leadership can get them to do, and perform it at maximum efficiency. Many of us thwart our greatest benefit to ourselves and to our society by foregoing our innate talents and abilities because we are taught to simply comply. Contemporary studies of employee satisfaction have indicated that the majority of employees are currently dissatisfied with their work experience. One of the top reasons is because they do not get to perform the duties they are most equipped (and gifted) to perform.
The attitude of employee compliance has inextricably tarried into the parenting philosophies of many homes. This attitude conveys that if we simply tell our kids what to do, they will be managed enough to simply follow our directions. There is no freedom to explore, no interest areas that are fostered effectively, and little room for learning from mistakes. Of course the opposite, liberal-minded attitude; that if we just let kids be they will find their way, poses an equal threat to the health of children. With everything, there is of course an advantageous balance that must be sought.
The ideal of fostering children's talents usually starts to become blurry right at the earliest stages in our development. Our greatest contributions to society are often obscured by our response to the environment we grew up in, our vices as individuals, and by the way in which we are either encouraged or discouraged by our parents/guardians to do what God has ingrained in us to do. Because we as parents play such a vital role in nurturing our children's best assets, it is important we recognize our tendencies in order to effectively reproduce a clear picture of what is best for our kids.
The most effective way that I reflect on to learn our children's talents, is to watch them work. The world of child-centered therapy has introduced us to the notion (or reminded us) that children communicate their experiences, feelings, and social intricacies through the way they play. Breaking this down is outside the scope of this blog, but we can deduce it down to the fact that kids don't have the language or thought-processing to be able to express everything they feel or experience. They have to manifest this, just like we all do, through some medium of communication. Children can indicate a multitude of emotions and thoughts about their perception of life by having opportunities to interact (play) with the world around them. As they develop language skills and more social maturity, it becomes far more conspicuous to understand what they are experiencing.
We can also attain an understanding of what children are skilled to do through viewing them in their element of play. Some kids work best with other children; organizing, structuring, developing the best teams. Some kids are more individually geared; creating, meticulously exploring, initiating. The more we study the depths of child development, the more we are seeing that kids have propensities toward certain areas of expertise. It is a fascinating concept that must be handled gently, inspiringly, and with much discernment. But, the earlier we can gain insight into the inner workings of what our children desire to engage in, the more effective we can be in nurturing their talents, and subsequently the course of their development into adulthood. I want to be clear that I don't suspect anyone will be able to effectively interpret and dictate what a child will develop into simply by paying close attention to their play habits. There is more mystery to human nature than that. But what we can be certain of is that from infancy to adulthood we are always communicating, and an important piece of this communication is our individual talents. If something can be communicated, it can be worked on and supported more effectively. We learn this at our jobs and in our relationships as we hash out the best ways to work together. Because of this, I believe the world of early childhood development is convincingly becoming the most significant environment to reveal and foster our individual gifts.
hey! Deep stuff Adam. It's very insightful and I like the way you break things down to make raising a child not seem so complicaated. Thanks for writing this!
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